Whats holding You back from Living a Fulfilled Life ?
- Speaking in Public
- Being Assertive
- Decision Making
- Career Jobs
- Being Alone
- Losing a Loved One
Imaginary Fear can Kill You!
Jack Canfield author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series related a story of a man locked in an unplugged freezer. The imaginary fear actually caused his death. Nick Sitzman was locked in a refrigerator boxcar accidentally, the rest of the workmen left the site. Nick panicked.
He banged and shouted until his fists were bloody and his voice was hoarse. No one heard him. “If I can’t get out, I’ll freeze to death in here,” he thought. Wanting to let his wife and family know exactly what had happened to him, Nick found a knife and began to etch words on the wooden floor. He wrote, “It’s so cold, my body is getting numb. If I could just go to sleep. These may be my last words.”
The next morning the crew slid open the heavy doors of the boxcar and found Nick dead. An autopsy revealed that every physical sign of his body indicated he had frozen to death. And yet the refrigeration unit of the car was inoperative, and the temperature inside indicated fifty-five degrees. Nick had killed himself by the Power of Fear.
According to Psychologist’s Fear means Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.
I have many case studies of clients who were so afraid to try anything challenging that they missed golden opportunities to improve their life style. I remember one client who was offered a lucrative job to work abroad. He was terrified that he was not suitable for the job. He actually made it to the interview. He was offered the post, but fear and doubt crept in. He questioned his suitability for the post even though he was highly qualified for position.
The financial benefits were generous. However, It would require him to leave his friends and family to start a new life in a new country. He was afraid but excited at the same time. He had an opportunity to start a new life . He could make new friends, learn about the culture and adapt to a new lifestyle. I asked him what was the worst thing that could happen if he took the job and did not work out.
He thought for a moment and replied, if things did not work out he would come back home. We worked together on his fear issues, after a couple of months he became less fearful of the unknown. He became more confident. His self-esteem level increased. He accepted the job and was eager to start a new life in another country.
The company renewed his contract for five years. He formed friendships with his colleagues at work. He began to socialise more by joining groups of mutual interest. He met the woman of his dreams, and now lives a life he always visualised .
If You feeling like You may not be living the life you want, I want you know I get it! I have a simple formula to help You get back on track and experience more of what You want!
Events happen , things like a flat tire,a sick child, a layoff from work. We respond to those events, and our responses lead to the outcomes we experience.
We may not control the events in our lives; we can, however,control how we respond. That is our point of power: How we respond to the events in our lives.
If You are not experiencing the outcomes you want in your life, it is time to look at how you respond and begin to explore new responses.New responses will lead to new outcomes – the type of outcomes that you actually want!
You are creating your experiences, your success, the quality of your relationships, and your health,basically everything you are experiencing, you created!
There are only three responses You have control over:
Your behaviour (including what You say and how You say it; what You do and what You don’t do)
Your thoughts (self – talk) and beliefs ( both conscious and unconscious)
Your visual imagery (including your images of the past (memories) and the future
YOU have total control over all three of these!
Personal responsibility is the key attitude for PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT.It is to your full advantage to assume full responsibility for the circumstances of your life, as well as your reactions to these circumstances.
Personal responsibility is the key attitude for PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT. It is to your full advantage to assume full responsibility for the circumstances of your life, as well as your reactions to these circumstances.
Practice the Success Principles
Trust me, if you act as if you are 100% responsible, whether its true or not; if you act as if it were true, your experience of life and the results you produce will get better.
Therefore, without self- judgement or self blame, you can focus your attention on understanding yourself and your range of choices that may be possible in any given circumstance.
With this awareness, you can make educated, intentional choices.
When your choices don’t result in you getting what you want, you can look to understand what happened and what action you can take next, rather than looking for someone or some circumstance to blame.
Now! I’m going to share with you that simple formula that changed my life, and I know it will change yours.
E+R=O Event + Response = Outcome
If you want to change the outcomes you are experiencing in your life, you must change your responses.
How I Faced My Fear
In my teens, I suffered from low self esteem. I lacked confidence and blamed the whole world for my misery. I was terrified of confrontations or conflicts, I knew I could not continue with this stinking thinking. I loved reading stories about people who changed the world who never gave up on their dreams.
The library had a section of self help books. I spent many a happy moment reading and taking notes on self improvement. I began noticing changes in my thinking when I practiced the mental exercises and affirmations. I became more of an extrovert. My confidence increased and I took up dancing lessons.
I had a part- time job. I enrolled in speech classes to improve my confidence. At the age of twenty two I worked on cargo boats as a steward serving food. I learned a lot about catering.
For seven years I saw the world and met the most extraordinary people. I ended up in Jerusalem during one trip. I clung onto the pillars of a revered place of worship the Mosque of Omar. I felt a sense of calmness come over over me. Intuitively I knew that everything in my life was going to turn out fine.
Everyone I met had challenges, dreams and hope for the future. I was still experiencing challenges in my life. I failed, I stumbled but each time I got up I was a lot stronger. My interest in self development grew. I eventually trained as a Life Coach and used my coaching skills to help others overcome their fears.
At the age of sixty seven, I was conferred with a BA Honours in Sociology/ Political Science and German. We cannot fail we can only produce results.
I have taken risks and jumped into life. I could have watched my life go by and do nothing. I have proved that by using the Success Principles I am living a richer fuller life. The individuals I have worked with have also witnessed transformations in their lives.
BA HONOURS GALWAY UNIVERSITY – Sociology, Political Science, German
COACHING ACADEMY UK – Life Coach
NOBLE MANHATTAN CERTIFICATE COACHING UK – SENIOR & SUPPORT COACH
JACK CANFIELD – SUCCESS PRINCIPLES TRAINER